A pleasant surprise after the punishment

After that painful spanking a few days ago, I have magically got everything on my list done. So anxiety and muscle memory does motivate? I'm confused.

The next morning when I woke up, my husband wanted to check my backside -- the spanking marks should be gone overnight so I was not sure if he was about to give more "color" to it. Instead, he said now that I've done my work very well, to "reward" my good job, he was going to take me to Switzerland for a short stay.

And so here we are in this really beautiful country with amazing landscapes and very nice hot springs.

This trip has completely taken away all the stress I had the last few days.

Got spanked for internet addiction

Can't believe I get spanked two times in a day. My husband said I've been a really naughty girl, spending too much time online and getting too little done.

I've been aware of this problem too. My job allows me to work at home when im not going on business trips, and when you don't have a regular schedule and a boss, managing time well is important.

It's just a matter of self discipline, I know. But before the problem snowballs to a big problem, my husband said he needed to teach me a lesson.

The lesson comes in two parts: part one is to work out a workable way to manage time together, and part two is, as you should know, on my backside.

Now im writing this with my pants and panties pulled down. Im supposed to leave it like this till I finish the jobs set for today.

My butt is still very red and warm. When I touch it, I can feel some parallel lines.

It was a serious punishment. My husband grabbed my ear and took me to our bedroom. This time he used a nursery cane. I havent been spanked with a cane on my bare for a long time, so I was first given very light strokes that didnt sting.

Then I was told to turn around to let my husband check my backside. He then asked me to bend over the bed. He said I need to remember this lesson for the next few days and started hitting all over my seat spot with more strength. He used also his hand.

Within a very short time my butt was all red looking almost like this:

I was saying sorry but he said he's going to give me 10 more strokes. It was painful.

A few slow, light strokes at first.

Then a few slow but heavy strokes.

And finished with a few very heavy non-stop strokes firing on my bottom.

My bottom is very red, with some slightly raised welts that later turned a bit white. Exposing my backside and the sore when sitting down immediately stops me from staying online for too long.

The next thing I need to learn, is managing not to use internet too much without having to get a spanking like this.

a heavy hand spanking for being late

Before we ever have any chance to talk about whether to continue with cdd, I was given a very heavy hand spanking tonight.

It was my bad.

After giving two verbal reminders this month, oops I did it again. my husband looked at me and said we were going to deal with it when we were home.

As soon as we parked our car and opened the front door, he told me to remove everything below my waist and stand facing the corner of our bedroom.

Then he came in, luckily, with nothing in his hand.

He put me over his knees and said he was going to give me a sound spanking. He then turned around and set the timer. He said I was going to be spanked for 3 minutes...

3 minutes is a lot...  just imagine if it's 2-3 spanks per second, and I cant bring myself to think about it.

The initial few spanks were loud but not painful, but after a short time the pain built up and I started kicking my legs, which was not allowed. He warned and said go on and kick more if you want the cane, and I stopped.

After many spanks i was told to get up and bend over touching my toes, and the spanking started again, with even more pain. i wanted to stand up a few times but my husband told me to stay and stick out my bottom, and i almost cried.

Finally 3 minutes was over. i looked at my bottom in the mirror and it was very red. almost something like this:

My husband said he'll keep spanking until ive learnt my lesson. Omg.

Continue with CDD or not?

After getting married for a few years, my husband doesn't really need to be the "discipliner" all the time. We both have learnt when to be more responsible and when to just leave it. We both have rather competitive jobs and need to fly to different places and adapt to different work cultures, so sometimes it's really important not to be perfectionists but be flexible and accept our differences.

When we first got married and started cdd, we had monthly maintenance spanking. Not anymore because it gave both of us too much stress. Then we removed the wooden ruler, because it can cause bruises. We still have the cane, but removed the junior cane and use only the nursery cane, for serious offenses.

When we first started, my husband once pinched my ears and gave one slap into my face, but that was the one and only one. We talked and decided not to let that happen again. And he once spanked my bottom to bright red until I cried. It never happened again. 

I wasn't aware till now, that I was spanked for three times by my husband this year.

30 spanks with his hand to my bare bottom
5 strokes with the nursery cane to my clothed bottom
4 strokes with the nursery cane to my clothed bottom and my thigh

This is rather similar to what I got from my parents as a kid, so sometimes I'm really wondering if cdd is about infantizing a wife?

I like it when my partner is in charge, but sometimes I can't help thinking why do I have to be punished? Do I not know what is right and what is wrong?

What worries me the most is whether our practicing of cdd will affect our parenting style in the future.

If our conclusion is yes, we really should stop cdd.

But the problem is, we can't tell until we really become parents.

Different attitudes to punishment

Soon after we moved from Singapore to the UK, I had admission interviews with a number of schools. Thanks to the trivial, controlling Singaporean experience, I got offers from all the schools I had applied for.

This time I was no longer in the primary education, but a newbie in the secondary section, just like everyone else in the school. This time I did not only have a few subject teachers, a class teacher but also a house parent. My dad told me stories of the scary teachers at a boarding school in Scotland when he was a boarder in the 70s, but it was an entirely different story when I went to mine in England in the late 90s.

Different from David Copperfield, no teacher shouted at anyone, let alone spanking anyone. In many ways my school was like the one I went to in Singapore, where teachers almost never had to yell at anyone. It was the atmosphere in the school that made you feel like behaving yourself.

At my boarding school, it was the same. Everyone was good, at least academically.

There we set the rules together. Then the teacher gave each of us a copy of the rules. We signed it and kept it in our student handbook. It was a new experience to me, because rules were prescribed to us back in my schools in Singapore and France.

Another difference was that students were rarely punished. Every evening after the dinner, we had one hour with our house parent and we could talk about almost anything, even some bad behaviors in class. They had a very clear distinction between a person and her behaviors, but of course it did not mean it was totally acceptable to behave badly on purpose.

When someone kept making troubles at school, she was sent to the headmistress. It was more about understanding what was wrong and helping the student solve the problem rather than just prescribing some punishment. The Singaporean school and the French school I went to were keen on fixing or eliminating the problem with punishment, while the English school focused quite a lot on understanding the cause of the problem.

If a student had to be punished, the punishment always had to do with the problem itself. It was more than just a deterrent.

I was almost never punished at the English school over my two years there, but I remember something what my friend had after swearing.

She was sent to the headmistress and probably got scolded. The headmistress then asked her to write a 100-word passage using only swear words that evening and bring it back to school the next day with her parents' signatures.

Recently I have been looking back at all these, as I started thinking about what to do one day when I have my own kids. Should I not spank my kids? Should I lecture my kids? Should I become friends with my kids?

And should my husband and I stop practicing Christian domestic discipline?

Growing up in different countries

I did not grow up in one single country but five. Since the age of 3, we kept moving to different countries because of my dad's relocation by his company.

The French school I went to was considered prestigious there. The teachers almost never punished students. They just talked to you but at the same time asked you to think and react logically and responsibly, even at the age of 7. The only punishment I had there was report writing. With limited vocabulary, I had to report the incident to the teacher, explain the reasons and make suggestions. Then I had to explain my report to three other teachers and seek their advice and make changes to my report before turning it in to my class teacher.

It was a trivial but useful school experience.

After spending three years there, my dad got relocated to Singapore.

That was the start of my nightmare.

The Singaporean school was also a famous local school, but for academic excellence. Every day we were assigned a lot of homework. When the French kids in my previous school spent 30 minutes on homework each day, their Singaporean counterparts had to spent on average 3 hours -- sometimes more when there were dictation and tests.

At that time, I had to be tested for all my core subjects each month. Every returned test paper had to be signed by mom or dad. Initially my parents were not that demanding when it came to grades, maybe because I was a new kid there, and Singapore ranked #1 in almost all international tests at that time.

I knew some of my Singaporean classmates got caned by their parents if they had poor test scores. Their cane was not as heavy as the ones in British public schools ages ago but probably looked like a nursery cane that my mom used on me back in France.

That kind of cane was sold every where in Singapore. It came with a funny hook like this:

My mom also kept two at home. One was put on the desk of her study. Another one was kept somewhere --- just in case I threw away the one in her study.

Unlike France, corporal punishment was (is?) still allowed at schools in Singapore. My school was one of the best in terms of academic results but teachers never spanked students because of their scores. Actually teachers rarely had to punish kids. They just made you feel that you must study very hard and do all you can. The entire atmosphere made you feel as if you were weird if you did not try your best.

While the French school stressed logical thinking and responsible behaviors, the Singaporean school stressed diligence, diligence and more diligence.

I never had to worry too much about school, until one day I got the grade report for my first exam.

Scores for every single subject were in red, which obviously meant I failed. To make things worse, there were some numbers beside each exam score, like 150/150. It was not my score over the full score, but my "rank" among all students in the same year. Surprizingly I was ranked the last for every subject except Music, English and PE. And the teacher's comment was "needs improvement for most subjects", which was obvious.

My mom was a bit upset but she only said "do better next time". She knew it just takes time for a new kid to fit in.

They had four exams a year, so it did not take long until I got my second exam report.

This time I did much better and passed most of the subjects, including even mathematics. But the teacher's comment was "does not take school rules seriously".

The next day my mom called my class teacher for an appointment, and they talked all about me for over an hour.

When I was home, I was scolded for a long time. It felt like hours.

On the very same day, I experienced the Singaporean canes for the first time. It was just three strokes over my pants but it felt like there were 100 bees stinging my bottom at the same time. My mom did not use just one but two canes at the same time, and she did not stop between strokes.

And my mom said it was a suggestion from the teacher. That a punishment should be short, sharp, shock to be effective.

Since then, my mom had lots of punishment ideas from my teacher in Singapore. Sometimes it was spanking but most of the time it was something else. They did work, and by the time I finished my first year of study there was a tremendous improvement in my grades and behaviors. The two years there eventually let me skip one grade when I studied in a rather competitive school in England later.

Till now I am not sure if the liberal French way or the controlling Singaporean way is better.

Back to my childhood place

Paris, we have arrived, after a long flight. It's where I spent three years when I was a kid.

It's always nice to be here. I can still speak the language. I can still get around the city without even looking at the map. I can still stay in my family's apartment.

But since this blog is about punishment, maybe I should write something about it.

At school spanking was already banned. Teachers just tried to discuss with you instead of punishing you. This is how we learnt about reasoning and decision making.

I got spanked once outside my family. It was my French piano teacher. She used to keep a short ruler in her studio. It was for lazy kids who didn't practice -- unfortunately I was one of them. She gave me a rather light smack on my hand once. It was more like a warning than a real punishment. Just a light smack with a ruler around 15cm, so you can imagine.

At home spanking was, and is still allowed. In French they call it la fessée, smacking on the bottom.

My mom was the one who did it, but most of the time when she pulled down my pants I started to cry and beg her not to do it, and then she would say "don't do this again" and let me go.

But when she really did it, it was always a big spanking. She even managed to get a nursery cane and a junior cane from England or somewhere.

When she had to use the cane, it was always because of something dangerous like playing with fire. I was always full clothed and given 3-5 strokes of the nursery cane, except for once.

That time I had a big trouble at school, and my mom was asked to go to my school to discuss my behaviour with the headmaster. As soon as we made it home, my mom asked me to get changed to tee and shorts and stand in the naughty corner. I knew something was going to happen.

 

10 minutes later, my mom came in. She just pulled down my pants and kept hitting my bottom with the nursery cane. Maybe it was more than 20 strokes. It wasn't that hard like it was with my clothes on but still stunk quite a bit so I cried and kicked and screamed. It was the only time in my childhood being spanked on my bare bottom.

To make it more humiliating, when dad was back home,  she took off my pants to show him the spanking. Dad said something like "this is well spanked". That night he talked to me and asked me what I did at school that made mom so upset.

Other than that, my three years there was full of joy, fun and excitement. It's always nice to explore a new place, meet some new people and become part of a new community.

Spanking when away from home

Just read from a blog that a husband brought loopy Johnny for punishment when the couple are away from home.

I'm writing this in the lounge waiting for the flight with my husband. Holidays away from home should be free of spanking, but out of curiosity I asked my husband what he thinks about that idea of bringing a loopy Johnny.

Wearing a smile on his face, he said, we've lots of unexpected things in our trip. We can never be exactly sure about what we're supposed to do, so let's forget about the discipline thing and enjoy our adventure for now.

True.

If he really wants to spank me, my husband said he doesn't even need a loopy johnny or something. Here are three things always available in a hotel room:

1. His heavy hand

2. Cloth hanger

I've never experienced this but it looks quite horrible.

 

3. Wet towel

I can't imagine how you can spank with a towel, but my husband said it's as effective as a paddle with holes (which I've never got either) if used correctly. 

Can you imagine it hurts so much?

 

Anyway I'll be good and make our trip a really nice one. Ciao!