Spanking with consent

After lots of discussion, my husband and I agree that we switch to a modified form of CDD for one month and see how things go. From two days ago, he can give me real spankings if I do something wrong. But unlike before, he can’t spank me if I say no, and he also needs to tell me how much I’ll be spanked before he starts. And this happens only between us. We should never spank our kid no matter what happens. 

Needless to say, I got spanked already.

No more cane, wooden ruler, strap or ikea hanger at home, so my husband used a flip flop, a new one that I got for the beach for this summer 😳 Never would have imagined that it ends up in close contact with my bare bottom.

It was a real spanking. 50 spanks this time.

Hubby had the flip flop in one hand, and took me by the ear with another hand. No warm up, and once I was dragged to our room, he pulled down my panties, put me over his laps and started spanking with the flip flop. He pinned my legs so I could hardly move. 

It’s been more than a year I haven’t been spanked for punishment so it felt really painful. After 20 spanks, my bottom was already burning. 

Then my husband told me to stand with my nose to the wall and hands on my knees. A very uncomfortable pose. But then it’s part of the punishment, showing my spanked bottom.

The remaining 30 spanks were a lot more painful than the first 20. Now I need to feed my baby. Will tell you more again soon.

When I did something wrong

Our baby is now one year old. My husband has been a fantastic dad and spend a lot of time looking after the baby when he’s not at work. 

It’s hard to have enough sleep when you have a baby with you, and it’s easy to get a bit impatient when you’re not sleeping enough. So far I think I have taken good care of my baby, but sometimes I feel that I’m not a good wife. 

My husband has never got mad at me because of that. He just hugged me and asked me to relax, but maybe we did CDD for too long, sometimes I just wished that he gave me a few spanks on my bottom. Doing something bad without any consequence makes me feel even more guilty :( 

This morning did it again so I casually said sorry to my husband as I was in bed. I tried to pull up my dress and pulled down my panties a bit and looked at him.

Then he came over.

And kissed my butt. 

And pulled up my panties and said I’m silly :(

it’s been a while

Can you imagine what happened?

Birthday spanking

Lots of things happened in this year.

We have moved back to Switzerland. We have our first baby. We have stopped CDD and been taking courses and meeting counsellors regularly to learn about inspiring, non-spanking means to teach our kid. It’s interesting to know that there’s such a discipline in the uni called “parent education”.

After a long time not being spanked by my husband, I recently got a few spanks from him again. This time for my birthday.

Just five spanks with his hand over my pants but it somehow reminded me of our old days.

Peter Pan Syndrome

Cos of the preparation for  the arrival of our baby in this world, we have been unimaginably busy ——- but happy —- very happy. We are far from perfect, which unfortunately is part of being human. We are trying our best to make home safe and loving for our little baby.

I’ve been thinking about my own shortcomings because to me our baby is absolutely perfect. It’s funny how it works. The more we meet with our marriage counsellor, the more we reflect on our marriage, the more I realise why we behave in certain ways.

As said in my first few posts here, I liked to be managed and maybe disciplined  by a partner who’s more streetwise than me. There’s nothing wrong about this, but cos we wanna have kids, we need to make sure our family is full of love and free of any form of violence. And as we dig deeper and deeper into the issues, I started to realise it’s the constant relocation from country to country that caused a lot of distress to me from childhood to my teenage years. Maybe that’s why you  guys can see me writing a lot about being disciplined like a child. Maybe deep down I just wanted to stay in one country with my childhood friends instead of moving to 5 to 6 countries across the continents. In France where I spent my early years of school,, i was subjected to very strict teachers, and spanking was allowed at home so maybe that explains why. I am of course thankful for my globalized education and the exposure to different cultures, without which I wouldn’t have made it to Ivy League and later to a very special and demanding job.

Well the water is under the bridge now, but I guess it’s good to have found out about what’s behind my past behaviours. I’ll try to learn more about some good practices of parenting and be a responsible, caring mom and wife.

Sometimes I’m worried one day I might get really mad at my kid and end up spanking my kid really hard like my mom did to me when I was a kid.i really hope this will never happen.

Im tying hard to change myself, and I really hope I’ll make it before my baby becomes a little kid.

No offence if we have different beliefs for parenting. We all know there’s no absolute answers when it comes to love.

Spank!

Hubby gave me one light spank over my night dress 😳 when I was lying on the bed.

“what do u want?” I smiled at him and asked.

“Nothing” he said and walked away.

Nothing? 😳

Baby is learning with me

i have reduced my working hours to 70%. More time for rest, but suddenly I have an idea of taking a German exam so that I can continue studying German from C1 some day when I want to start learning again. Not taking Test-DAF, cos I don’t need to get into the university again anyway. So maybe the Goethe Zertifikat B2 exam.

These days I have lots of free time at home, cos hubby keeps travelling to many places for business, and he’s getting really busy before our move to Switzerland in June.

They say pregnant women shouldn’t do anything too exciting, so I have stopped playing games with Switch and stopped going figure skating ⛸ Yesterday I tried doing a B2 German listening Model Test but baby seemed a bit excited 😆 Does my baby understand the language better than me? :) but maybe this is just my imagination. My baby is still too small to react to anything I guess.

I’m learning how to cook and going to workshops about how to take care of a baby. We will have no helper after moving back to Switzerland.

I’m learning to be a good wife and a good mom :)