Saturday, 20 January 2018

My very strict German teacher

After my husband stopped spanking and scolding me, my German teacher has become the “strictest” person I face.

I’m used to a very relaxed and free learning classroom environment since I was little. There I can express my opinions freely and the whole class chats a lot together even during the lessons.

It’s not the case in my German class.

“Jenny!”

“Kein Small-talk”

“Schhhhhhh...”

My German teacher didn’t tell me off, but I got “warned” a lot :( like “Jenny! Schhhhhhh...”

Thursday, 18 January 2018

Will you dislike me because we’re not practicing CDD anymore?

My husband and I decided to stop practicing CDD and any form of punishment on me last month.

Since then I had procrastinated a few times and didn’t work on the tasks until the last minute, but I still managed to make the deadline. So far our spanking-free life has been good.

After all we are making this change for our kids in the future. We want to get into the mindset that it’s okay for our children to make mistakes and learn from the mistakes without the threat of physical punishment. And my role as a mom is a role of a mature adult so I can’t be a little girl that’s “parented” and regularly disciplined by my husband. The role of my husband, on the other hand, supports the family with me. He’s not a disciplinarian but a decisive, loving parent. This is our vision of a family.

Initially when I started this blog I wrote about the punishment I got from my husband. I think it’s okay for a couple. But when we started thinking about having kids, we thought twice and had lots of discussions and decided that we want a loving, supportive home without spanking for our future kids.

I hope you won’t dislike me because of this change of roles.

When my husband and I first got married, I was very young. We followed what his church suggested about CDD and started to be disciplined. I got spanked a lot on my bare bottom by his hand and over my pants with a ruler in our first year of marriage. As years went by, it became about once a month or a few times a year. Then last year I was spanked a lot and even caned with  a nursery cane many times because of my bad behaviour caused by my graduate school studies, a very busy job, a lack of time for leisure  and so on. At one point even my husband thought we should think again about how to make a loving couple.

In the end we wanted to see if we can still live our life normally without any form of punishment. We wanted to learn how to love each other without any condition and respect each other as an adult.

We have to change our beliefs for our kids in the future, and it takes time for us to learn, adapt and change.

Please wish me luck.

Saturday, 13 January 2018

Woke up and found my pants being taken down

As the caption shows, that’s what happened to me this morning. Weird.

I looked at my husband and asked if he wanted to spank me again.

No, it’s you who took down your own pants. He told me.

What?

Ok, now I seem to remember. I had a strange dream, in which I was punished, like what we used to have before the last Christmas.

And what was my husband’s next reaction?

Can you guess?
A. “So you really want to be spanked? I can make you feel very sorry”
B. “Don’t be silly”
C. Said nothing






The answer is C, and he gave me a hug. I guess he can easily do what’s said in A, but we really are trying very hard to prepare ourselves to become good, loving parents in the future.

Tuesday, 9 January 2018

Dealing with procrastination with strategies

It’s hard to bring myself to start working on a job assignment. I have been quite unproductive these days.

I told my husband my problem.

He said if this happened in 2017, he’d fetch the cane and I’ll have a very sore behind, and I’ll start working right away with my pants taken down, and I get more spanking if I get distracted again. But we’ve agreed to change our way of thinking...

He suggested that I
Break down the job into a few parts and do it bit by bit by focusing on one thing at a time so I don’t get distracted. Make a plan and take a short break after getting each part properly done.

My husband said I shouldn’t tell him how I’m going to do it. I need to decide on my own.

2017: immediate punishment
2018: Problem-based strategies

Will it work?

Let’s see.

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Calling my name

No punishment after our long, serious discussion at Christmas. It’s because we really want to learn to create a spanking-free environment for our future children. This won’t come overnight, and the first thing is to change the way we interact.

But you know it’s hard to change dramatically from being disciplined with nursery cane and paddle and hand spanking on bare bottom to not being disciplined—- at all.

We have adopted these two methods:
1. Keep a journal and write down whatever happens during the day. Both of us do it, and we don’t need to exchange our journals at all. Somebody called it a cognitive way to help oneself reflect and take control of his/her own life

2. When my husband thinks I’m being a bad girl he’d keep a straight face and call my name, like “Jenny!”. No consequence but just a hint. My husband said eventually we’ll get rid of this, but let’s make it a temporary measure for now.

So far they have worked.

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

No spanking so what’s next?

Back home from holiday.

No mood for doing anything at all. Totally holiday mood.

My husband is back to work but I’m working from home these two weeks. Then my husband came home and saw paper bags from Mc Donald’s.

Honestly I had it three times in one day. Too lazy to cook.

If this happened in 2017 I’d have a sore bottom.

Now?

Husband: Do you know this is not healthy? Don’t do it again.
Me: ok

And I just don’t do it again.

That’s all.

You might ask what if I do it again. Will he spank me.

Well, I’ll just make sure I won’t do it again. Let’s all.

Time to learn to be a responsible adult :)

Thursday, 28 December 2017

No-spank Experiment

In Switzerland we’ve discussed something very seriously for days.

Both my husband and I think that CDD might affect our future roles as parents when both of us want to raise our kids as confident, autonomous and responsible individuals in an environment free of spanking.

We aren’t having kids yet, but we both think it’s time to think.

So we’ve agreed to replace any form of physical punishment by “lectures” in the first half of 2018. Then we’ll review it and decide if we want to replace the “lectures” with discussions.

The nursery canes, wooden rulers and wooden paddle are still at home, but they’ll be gone by mid 2018 if it works well in the first six months.

Let’s see.