Saturday, 8 June 2019

Peter Pan Syndrome

Cos of the preparation for  the arrival of our baby in this world, we have been unimaginably busy ——- but happy —- very happy. We are far from perfect, which unfortunately is part of being human. We are trying our best to make home safe and loving for our little baby.

I’ve been thinking about my own shortcomings because to me our baby is absolutely perfect. It’s funny how it works. The more we meet with our marriage counsellor, the more we reflect on our marriage, the more I realise why we behave in certain ways.

As said in my first few posts here, I liked to be managed and maybe disciplined  by a partner who’s more streetwise than me. There’s nothing wrong about this, but cos we wanna have kids, we need to make sure our family is full of love and free of any form of violence. And as we dig deeper and deeper into the issues, I started to realise it’s the constant relocation from country to country that caused a lot of distress to me from childhood to my teenage years. Maybe that’s why you  guys can see me writing a lot about being disciplined like a child. Maybe deep down I just wanted to stay in one country with my childhood friends instead of moving to 5 to 6 countries across the continents. In France where I spent my early years of school,, i was subjected to very strict teachers, and spanking was allowed at home so maybe that explains why. I am of course thankful for my globalized education and the exposure to different cultures, without which I wouldn’t have made it to Ivy League and later to a very special and demanding job.

Well the water is under the bridge now, but I guess it’s good to have found out about what’s behind my past behaviours. I’ll try to learn more about some good practices of parenting and be a responsible, caring mom and wife.

Sometimes I’m worried one day I might get really mad at my kid and end up spanking my kid really hard like my mom did to me when I was a kid.i really hope this will never happen.

Im tying hard to change myself, and I really hope I’ll make it before my baby becomes a little kid.

No offence if we have different beliefs for parenting. We all know there’s no absolute answers when it comes to love.

Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Spank!

Hubby gave me one light spank over my night dress 😳 when I was lying on the bed.

“what do u want?” I smiled at him and asked.

“Nothing” he said and walked away.

Nothing? 😳

Saturday, 9 March 2019

Baby is learning with me

i have reduced my working hours to 70%. More time for rest, but suddenly I have an idea of taking a German exam so that I can continue studying German from C1 some day when I want to start learning again. Not taking Test-DAF, cos I don’t need to get into the university again anyway. So maybe the Goethe Zertifikat B2 exam.

These days I have lots of free time at home, cos hubby keeps travelling to many places for business, and he’s getting really busy before our move to Switzerland in June.

They say pregnant women shouldn’t do anything too exciting, so I have stopped playing games with Switch and stopped going figure skating ⛸ Yesterday I tried doing a B2 German listening Model Test but baby seemed a bit excited πŸ˜† Does my baby understand the language better than me? :) but maybe this is just my imagination. My baby is still too small to react to anything I guess.

I’m learning how to cook and going to workshops about how to take care of a baby. We will have no helper after moving back to Switzerland.

I’m learning to be a good wife and a good mom :)

Monday, 18 February 2019

Bye everyone

very busy these days cos of our relocation. I feel excited but at the same time a bit scared, cos it’s not just a change of location but also the beliefs of my husband and me.

Thank you soooooo much for your comments and advice over the last few years, and thank you for dropping by.

I’m thrilled to tell you that we are expecting a 🍼 πŸ‘ΆπŸ» We are learning to be good parents and want to raise our child in a violence-free environment.

Definitely not easy, but we will keep learning and keep trying :)

Monday, 7 January 2019

Alternatives

My husband is going to a workshop with me in Switzerland every weekend. We are learning how to deal with different situations in a marriage and parenting other than using punishments. Well, I’m not saying punishment or even spanking is entirely wrong, but since we want to raise kids in a violence-free environment, we are trying to learn.

This is such a radical change of our mindset. Still a long way to go. I hope I won’t become too old to have kids when we have finally learnt.

So these days I’m just busy reading, applying for yet another internal transfer of my job to Switzerland and learning German.

My husband sometimes still gives me a few light spanks but happens only in the bedroom for fun πŸ’•

Monday, 31 December 2018

New Year’s resolutions

I’m still fine. The last two weeks my husband and I tried very hard to work out CDD at home and I got a sound hand spanking as a result :(

In the end we have agreed that we should ditch CDD, and our New Year’s resolution is learning to love and forgive each other. We are planning to have a baby in a few years’ time and think it’s important to change our mindset so that our future kids won’t be subjected to any form of violence no matter what happens.

Hubby got a promotion, and we are moving again 6 months later. Back to my home this time!!! Switzerland πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­πŸ˜

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

I’m still fine

Obviously my parents are worrying a lot about me every since they have found out about this blog. They know I’m living a comfortable life but we just never talked about this domestic discipline thing.

They said they want me to know they love me a lot and I am always protected by them no matter what. They said they respect my freedom and my choice but still suggested me to see a psychiatrist. No harm getting the second opinion right? A psychiatrist not a counsellor, just cos I don’t think I can come up with a solution with a counsellor’s guiding questions in this case.  I need direct advice.

No depression no syndrome no anything —- as expected. It’s actually good to look at what I have been experiencing in my marriage from a different perspective.

Actually I don’t mind being prescribed some rules and given a lot of guidance sometimes, especially if the ideas are way better than mine, but maybe my husband and I should look at the consequence part again.

Does he always need to put me across his knee?
Does he really think I wouldn’t listen unless he takes out the nursery cane?
Does he have the right to decide what is right or wrong for me?
What if he’s doing something wrong himself?

Lots of questions. But it’s good that we’re working on these issues —- bit by bit.

Takes time for both of us to learn and change for our own good.